Australian (dis)Organisations refuse to talk to their customers

 Grumpy Old Man Gripes, Poor Customer Servce  Comments Off on Australian (dis)Organisations refuse to talk to their customers
Jul 212014

What the hell is up with major Australian organisations in that they are refusing to talk with their customers.

I’m looking at you, AGL.

And I’m looking at you, Telstra.

Both of you are out to pasture. Gone with the wind.

A bunch of useless bodies, with minds that seem unable to grasp the simple concept of COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR CUSTOMERS.

Let’s take AGL, who first of all deliver cold water, but charge their customers for hot. On the rare occasion that their meters actually work. I’m about to have the fourth one installed in about ten years. Why is thier hardware so bloody unreliable?

But that’s not the issue. Because their hardware is unreliable, they decide that they’ll just take a wild guess at what your usage might be.

And by wild guess, I mean wild.

About double what it should be.

So, I try to do the right thing, and call them. They’re staff have no interest in talking about the issue. I’ve now called them SEVEN FUCKING TIMES about their problem. I’ve left messages.

I’ve left my number.


But do they call back?

Nope. What a bunch of useless pratts.

But at least their call centre is located within Australia.

There’s a few things that I refuse to do, and I’d recommend that y’all consider this too. First of all, I refuse to talk to off-shore call centres. They take our jobs. YOUR jobs.

But what’s worse is that the staff there do not speak Strine. Tring to communicate with people in offshore call centres is like talking to your cat. And expecting a sensible response.

And when the offshore call centre calls you, unannounced, and then asks you for personal identification information ???

I’m sorry, but no. Go to hell.

I have no way of verifying who the hell you are, and there’s less than a snowflake’s chance in hell that I’m going to give you any personal identifying information.

I really don’t know that you’re who you say you are, and I value my privacy way more than your offshore call centre is worth.

Which brings me to Telstra.

Who tell me that according to their records, I am not receiving spam SMS messages from them.

Except that their records are wrong.

And over the last two weeks, they have totally and abysmally failed to contact me with even an apology, let alone an explanation for their abhorrent, illegal behaviour.

Their so-called social media team keeps on telling me that a case manager will be contacting me. How nice. They’ve said that more times than there are days in the week.

But I’m still waiting.

For the next SMS spam, probably.

For an organisation that’s supposed to be in the business of communications, they’re providing a fine example of how not to communicate.


Apr 302013

Customer service, that is. Take the example of the Crocs franchise, for instance.

Crocs make and sell some great products, but some of their management policies are totally clueless.

Yesterday we wandered into their store in the Riverwalk in New Orleans. I wanted to buy some shoes. After all, that’s whole idea of having a retail, bricks-and-mortar presence, right? To sell people your products!

Sadly, the stores’ policy is that if your shoe size is larger than 13, go and get fucked.

Sorry, I mean, take your money elsewhere.

Sorry, I mean it’s “go to our website, and order your product there, even though you have no guarantees that the product that you will order will fit, or be delivered to you while you are where you are. “. Translated, that’s “Yes, we’re idiots, and we want you to know this.”.

Let me make this perfectly clear: I was there, cash in hand, and I wanted to try on, and buy, some shoes. I have very wide feet – I suffer from odema which means that most shoes I see don’t even come close – and if the mindless furballs at Crocs think that it’s a good idea to send customers with cash in their hands away from their front doors, then they’re just plain mad.

Or idiots.

If I was a shareholder in Crocs, I would be asking the board some serious questions about this.

In the meantime, my money goes elsewhere.

I left my business card with the poor bastard in the store. Like, that poor guy has to tell customers that he cannot sell them stuff, and that they need to go online. As if.

But, in leaning them my business card, they now have an open door to get back to me and explain themselves. I’m not holding my breath.